Police Replace Courts

North Wales Police are investigating attempts to shine a high-powered green laser at their helicopter. 

Now without going into the whole debate about how feasible it is to blind a pilot with a laser pointer, the twats that do this should be jailed because that’s what they believe they are doing.

Inspector Steven Jones, of the force's Air support Unit, said it was a "dangerous and foolish thing to do", and culprits would be prosecuted.

However it was when  he said other forces had previously imprisoned people for similar crimes, that the story caught my attention.

Wishful thinking on the part of Jones the Plod.

Fear of Political Police Force.

The Association of Police Authorities (APA) is getting a bit worried about the idea that elected representatives might be given the power to hire and fire chief constables.

APA chief executive Mark Castle says that could lead to one group or "extremist individual" gaining control of a force and "politicising" the police.

And he’s right.

I remember Margaret Thatcher doing it, quite effortlessly, in 1984.

Pity nobody in the land of Plod saw fit to complain then.

12-Year-Old Handcuffed

While the cops ‘pepper spray’ kids in Indiana nursery schools, New York’s finest aren’t prepared to be outdone. (See Stunning Police Response)

Last week Alexa Gonzalez, a 12-year-old at Junior High School 190 in Queens, was led out of her school in handcuffs by police after she was caught for writing on her desk with an erasable, green marker.

She was suspended from school and tried in a family court, where she was given eight hours of community service and ordered to write an essay about lessons to be learned from the incident.

What she will have learned is that the police and education departments in New York City are obviously run by some of the most petty-minded, reactionary toss-pots on the planet.

She will also learn about the US litigation system, as her mother is suing both for $1m in damages.

Stunning Police Response

They sure know how to handle annoying kids in Indiana. Here, two police officers have been suspended for using a stun gun on a 10-year-old boy who had gotten out of control at a day care facility.

The incident occurred Tuesday, when a worker at Tender Teddies Day Care in Martinsville, called police to report that one of the children there was acting up and posed a potential threat to the other kids.

A spokesperson for the Martinsville Police Department said that Capt. William Jennings and Officer Darren Johnson arrived at the scene and found the boy to be "combative." Jennings gave him a slap, and Johnson used his Taser to further subdue.

Martinsville Police Chief Jon Davis said "We need to look at it a lot closer because the Taser gun is not really made for 10-year-olds." (An obvious niche in the market for the ‘Junior Taser’.)

This is an outrageous way to treat children. At least in Texas 10 year olds get to sit in a chair before being zapped. 

When Justice Really is Blind

I defy any member of the public to try this one as a defence.

Metropolitan Police officer, Sgt Delroy Smellie who struck a woman, with a metal baton at a vigil to mark the death of newspaper vendor, Ian Tomlinson, who died at the G20 demonstration a few days before, has been cleared of common assault.

After watching the same video footage as the rest of us District Judge Daphne Wickham cleared him of the attack on Nicola Fisher. I, and I suspect a great many people, might beg to differ.

The judge said Sgt Smellie had “a mere seven seconds" to act when Ms Fisher ran in front of him hurling abuse.

I don’t know what “mere seven seconds” of the video footage the judge selected in her defence of  Smellie, nor do I know why she thinks that it should take a Policeman longer than that to differentiate between a juice carton and a weapon.

She pointed out that Sgt Smellie had deliberately bent his knees to hit Ms Fisher on her legs, causing a "transient flesh wound".

Ms Fisher actually suffered from two “transient” flesh wounds.

In his defence it was stated that Smellie mistook a juice carton in Ms Fisher's hand for a weapon, and maintained his actions were proportionate.

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He pushes her and - turns his back on her.

But maybe he hadn’t seen the weapon at this time?

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He slaps her with the back of his hand then - turns his back on her.

But maybe he hadn’t seen the weapon at this time?

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He approaches her, bends his knees, and hits her on the legs with his baton and turns away. Leaving her on the ground.

These actions, we are led to believe are proportionate when faced by a ‘weapon’ toting member of the public. Especially one who was, according to a defence witness, behaving like a "lunatic" and "out of control". One would have hoped that he might have done a bit more. Maybe something along the lines of shouting ”Drop the weapon.” But no.

In fact he is not even looking in her direction when he starts to draw the baton. And at no point in the video footage does he seem in anyway concerned with what she has in her hand.

So when did he think it was a weapon?

When he pushed her?

When he slapped her?

When he hit her with the baton?

Or when he realised he was on YouTube?

Sgt Smellie however, has been found ‘not guilty’. We have to accept the ruling.

But, that doesn't mean that we have to accept that the point at which an officer can use such force is when he is really pissed-off by a bampot of a woman screaming in his face. 
This though, could be put to the test at the next demonstration. If everyone carries cartons of orange juice to wave at the police we could determine how many officers eventually confuse them with carton shaped weapons. That way the ones that can’t tell the difference can have their arses booted off the force. Cos I’m fucked if I want to employ anyone who can’t tell the difference to protect me.

But, let’s not forget Ms Fisher. Sold her story to the papers but, couldn't be arsed to turn up at court. Worried that the defence may focus on her lifestyle. Thereby making the job of the Judge, the Defence and the Met so much easier.

As for the prosecution? They are confirmed as the best defence lawyers tax-payers’ money can buy - for a policeman.

Some Thugs Are More Equal Than Others

Two teenagers have now been arrested on suspicion of manslaughter in connection with the death of 64-year-old David Askew who collapsed and died in the garden of his Greater Manchester home after being harassed.

A post-mortem examination has failed to establish the cause of Mr Askew's death and further tests will be carried out, police said.

How different this response to the that of the ongoing cover-up in London, involving some of their own.

This Thursday will mark a year since the death of newspaper vendor Ian Tomlinson after a police assault at the G20 protests. Not surprisingly, no charges have been brought against any police officer. Despite 300 official complaints about the policing of the protests on 1 April, backed-up by any amount of video and photographic evidence, no officer has faced serious disciplinary proceedings.

The state-sponsored thugs who took to the streets that day, removed their identification numbers, assaulted peaceful protesters and bystanders alike, and then repeatedly lied through their teeth about what had happened. They did so in the knowledge that, if history is anything to go by, they could do so with immunity.

Only a week before last year’s demo, the Parliamentary Committee on Human Rights, published a damning report on the policing of protest. And although, Police chiefs insisted that they took the report seriously, the Met deployed those very tactics a week later.

They will say the same later this week when the Association of Chief Police Officers publish a draft manual for policing protests. But any assurance that the days of assaulting protesters are over should be taken with a pinch of CS gas.

The problem for the ‘Thugs in Uniform’ is that once they’ve kicked the shit out of someone they have to try justify it. And it’s worrying the lengths that they’ll go to.

In a recent case, at Isleworth Crown Court, Plod was again caught out. This time the protester in the dock, Jake Smith, was charged with violent disorder at a protest outside the Israeli embassy. Plod said that Smith had thrown a stick at him and produced video footage as evidence to support this. Smith however, found some material on YouTube that told a different story. ‘Plod the Punisher’ stuck to his guns though, denying that he had any more footage of the incident. But, you’ll be surprised to hear, two days before the case was to be heard, he had to admit that he did have a further seven and a half hours of video that he had inexplicably been unaware of. Unfortunately for Plod, this showed that Smith was innocent.Seemingly a big boy did it and ran away.

It is surely reasonable to ask how the video evidence that the police planned to introduce to the court showed that Smith was guilty.

Would it be unreasonable to suggest that, once they beat the fuck out of Smith, they did a bit of selective editing to put him “in the frame” as they say in the wonderful world of ‘cut and paste’.

Still, they’re not all like this.

When a Nottinghamshire police officer caused two deaths in June, the police immediately reported themselves to the Independent Police Complaints Commission and launched their own investigation.

Officers paid due tribute by saluting the flowers left outside police headquarters. There was no attempted cover-up. No cynical manipulation of the press. No lies about the victims or their families. The officer responsible was charged. He was convicted over the deaths.

The conviction was for neglect, when two police dogs died after being left in the back of a cop car, forgotten by the chump in charge of them.

A head plod told the baying hacks from the media: "We will certainly take any lessons we can get from this process and make sure we put them in place so this sort of thing never happens again. It has caused immense sadness and immense shock." Poor wee souls.

For the sake of the police pooches we can only hope that they do.

As for the rest of us?

Well.

The Met have never bothered their arse to apologise to Mr Tomlinson's family.

Don’t hold your breath.

Cock of the North

'Man Assaulted Officer With Penis' the headline read.

But alas the image of plod being pummelled by a massive pecker was cruelly crushed. 

The story was about a drunken Lithuanian in Aberdeen who tried to strike a WPC on the head with his penis when she was called out to a disturbance at his flat. 

She did get of the way in time.

Porky Telling Plod Gets 'Out of Jail' Card

I’ve heard some excuses in my time for not sending bent coppers to jail.

This time it was because it would cost too much to protect him from other prisoners.

Jeff McDermid, 42, admitted inducing a confession, attempting to get a sheriff to accept false evidence and providing false evidence to Northern Constabulary's professional standard and conduct unit.

At Inverness Sheriff Court, Sheriff Ian Abercrombie sentenced him to 240-hours community service as an alternative to jail.

The sheriff said McDermid had brought the reputation of Northern Constabulary into disrepute.

Likewise the sheriff - as far as the criminal justice system is concerned.

Fine By Me

Imagine you entered the ‘Dragon’s Den’ television programme with a proposal that depended on a seemingly endless supply of people willing to break the law on an improbable scale as the basis of your money making scheme, you just might just get laughed off the show.

You surely couldn’t find such people.

Well – You could.

They are known as motorists. And they simply won’t stop breaking the law when it comes to the speed limit.

A camera on the M6 near Carlisle, installed along with cones, barriers and signs as part of a system to protect workers carrying out repairs, is expected to net £168,000 from fines issued up to last week.

In total, 5,569 motorists were caught breaking the 50mph limit. But because of limited resources, only those driving faster than 60mph - about 2,800 people - will be prosecuted.

Claire Armstrong, co-founder of the Pressure group Safe Speed- which campaigns against the use of speed cameras – had a different, if predictable, take on it saying,

"We're pretty disgusted. It's obviously got nothing to do with road safety.”

But in this case however, we’re talking about the safety of motorway workers. And you would like to think that driver might consider this. But they don’t. They drive up each other’s arses like myopic sheep.

She added, "You don't measure safe driving in miles per hour"

But driving through a half a mile of roadworks at 70mph rather than 50mph saves you all of ten seconds. Not even enough time to make a call on your mobile.

She also claimed that, "The fact it's raising so much revenue will add to the police/public divide and continue to make people believe it's just about making money."

But it’s the law! You have the choice whether to break it or not.

Using the dodgy ploy of analogy, Safe Speed poses the following on their website:

“Would you use a hammer to fix a clock?”

“Would you use a speed camera to improve road safety?”

“Neither would we. They are both the wrong tool for the job”.

On the other hand:

Would you use a hammer to fix a clock?

Depends on the size of the clock e.g. the Great Clock of Westminster.

Would you use a speed camera to improve road safety?

Maybe not. But I might use it to penalise drivers who break the law and raise a few quid at the same time.

So might we. They may in these circumstances be the right tools for the job

If organisations such as Safe Speed can produce scientific evidence to support their case – then the Government should listen. But if drivers continue to get caught speeding there will be little incentive for cash-strapped councils to remove the cameras.

What would Walter Arnold make of it all? Walter, of East Peckham in Kent, was the first person to be convicted of speeding in the UK. On January 28, 1896 he was fined for speeding at 8 mph (13 km/h), thus exceeding the contemporary speed limit of 2 mph (3.2 km/h). He was fined 1 shilling plus costs.

Armless Fun

Police in the US state of New Jersey have ordered a family to cover up their snow sculpture of the famous nude Venus de Milo after a neighbour complained. When given the option of covering the sculpture up or knocking it down, she dressed it in a bikini top and sarong.

Eliza Gonzalez sculpted the figure with her son and daughter on her front lawn following a snowstorm.

While many praised their creation, a police officer told them a neighbour had found it too risqué.

If Mrs Gonzalez is wondering which of her neighbours it was that found the sculpture so arousing, might I suggest it is the one that has the well worn copy of ‘Boxing Helena’ in their video collection.