More Action – Less Talk Required From Ofcom

TalkTalk and Tiscali have been threatened with fines for aggressively billing customers for services that had been cancelled and payment of bills they did not owe.

After receiving more than 1,000 complaints this year, Ofcom has finally got of it’s arse and told them get their act together.

TalkTalk, which has been trying to collect the non-existent debts, including in some cases using debt collectors and threats of legal action, blamed a new billing system introduced after it bought Tiscali in June last year.

If the company fails to comply by December 2nd it may be fined as much as 10% of its annual turnover.

"Ofcom is determined to stand up for consumers and take action against companies that break the rules," said Ofcom's director of consumer affairs, Claudio Pollack.

The people at Ofcom must surely be the only ones in the country that accept the sort of pish that the people offer it as a defence for their actions. 

They are either ‘at it’ or not fit to run a company.

Or perhaps a bit of both?

Aryan Ambulances

Recently, some West Midlands Ambulance Service staff were asked, in an NHS survey, if they thought Adolf Hitler was a "cool" leader.

A spokesman said that the aim of the project, a snip at £10,000, was to look at the characteristics of good leadership, to allow the organisation to be more efficient.

Feck only knows how efficient they might have become, had the staff ticked the Fuhrer’s box.

“Dr Mengele will see you know.“

Nursery Staff Confiscate Two-Year-Old's Cheese Sandwich

Staff at a nursery confiscated a cheese sandwich from two-year-old Jack Ormisher because it broke their healthy eating rules.

You see. There you go. This is why I’m a fat bastard. I thought a cheese sandwich was healthy.

The two-year-old burst into tears and when his father picked him up from the food fascists at the Westfield Children’s Centre, in south Wigan, who told Jack’s father that the wee fella’s sandwiches should in future include lettuce or tomato – so they could be classed as a ‘snack’ rather than ‘lunch’.

Ah! I see now! Lettuce and tomato – snack. Cheese – lunch.

Chips? You have to by them off that dodgy bloke that hangs about behind the lock-ups.

Young Jack’s mother has moved him to a new nursery where he can have his cheese piece in peace.

Highlands and Islands Enterprise Culture

Dozens of Highlands and Islands Enterprise staff have jumped on the last gravy train leaving it's headquarters.

It seems that employees were queuing up to get their hands on redundancy packages before changes in legislation would see their massive golden handshakes and job-jumping between agencies at public expense, brought to an end.

It was announced that 53 staff out of the 76 who applied had left through voluntary severance with pay-outs averaging £63,600, as well as one getting a nice wee £263,000 addition to his pension pot.

The new legislation will mean that public sector employees will be restricted to a maximum pay-out of £50,000 or two years' salary.

Another little bonus for this lot is that they can now walk into other public-sector jobs. The new legislation means that in future they would have to pay back some of the redundancy dosh.

However, those who opted for voluntary redundancy packages before the April 1st changes can move to another public sector job without penalty.

And why not?
This is been one the great perks of working for one of these agencies.

A couple of years back their Director of Global Communications, Stuart Black, job-jumped with a £138,000 golden handshake to take up a £100,000 a year post as director of planning and economic development with the arch money-wasters at the Highland Council two days later. At the same time, Donald McNeill who was Senior Transport Officer with the agency managed to secure himself a £43,000 a year post as Gaelic development manager with the same local authority.

HIE have assured anybody who is concerned that they can carry out all their responsibilities with the reduced complement of staff.

So it would appear that we are paying through the nose to get rid of a lot of people that we didn’t need in the first place.

Maritime and Coastguard Agency All at Sea (well three of them anyway)

Yet more nonsense from a Government agency. This time, the Maritime and Coastguard Agency.

Part of the north of Scotland coastline has been left with just three volunteer coastguards when there ought to be 10. The volunteers have left the Wick service in support of their station commander, who resigned after being accused of gross misconduct.

So what constitutes gross misconduct in the Coastguard?

Well – it’s ‘swearing’.

Norman Macleod, 63, swore while talking to his Aberdeen-based sector officer, Sandy Taylor, during a search. When told that this sort of language was “unprofessional”, he apologised. It should be noted that Mr Macleod’s sweary word was not aimed at anyone. Macleod was later given an apology by Mr Taylor, who accepted they had been working in a stressful situation at the time.

That’s OK then. All settled.

Enter the ‘Management’, this time in the guise of Coastal Safety Manager Ian Burgess. He tells Mr Macleod that he has two options. He could be suspended and given 10 days to appeal, or he could resign. In the face of such preposterous nonsense Mr Macleod, resigned.

You have to wonder what the fuck’s going on here. That a man with such experience, he was local station officer at Wick since 1982, was put in such a position.

Remarking on the loss of Mr Macleod and the other experienced volunteers the Coastal Safety Manager claimed that the area was well covered by the other stations, while there still remained three volunteers at Wick plus a lifeboat. But will Health and Safety allow just three men to crew the lifeboat?

None of this seems to worry the ‘Management’ though. As he said, “I am disappointed but these things sometimes happen and we just have to live with it.”

As long as no one dies from it then.

If this is really down to someone swearing then the Coastguard have some serious issues to address over what they consider to be their priorities. Those priorities should be about saving lives. I’m sure people being rescued from a sinking boat couldn’t give a fuck if the guy saving their lives was swearing over the radio.

Sailing types though, are probably made of stronger stuff than the delicate wee petals at the Maritime and Coastguard Agency.

Coastal Safety Manager Job Description:

Responsible for ensuring the efficient and effective management of HM Coastguard staff in the region, to meet Business Plan requirements and for maintaining the high quality of operational standards and results within the region.

F Ofcom

Ofcom have told Sky to drop the prices that the charge the likes of Virgin and BT for their sports and film channels. All in the name of competition. Sky of course, will appeal this nonsense.

Ofcom though, are quite unfathomable at times.

This is the lot that said it was OK for BT to charge rivals whatever it wants for access to its forthcoming £1.5bn fibre network.

In that case Ofcom claimed they were acting in the interests of consumers, (and not as a result of unprecedented lobbying from BT and a threat to revoke it unless pricing controls were dropped). Furthermore, they maintained this would not lead to a monopoly in the ’super-fast broadband’ sector. Nor would kill off BT’s competition, Virgin in particular, stone dead.

They have, on the other hand, never thought to have the license fee reduced for those who still don’t get a full service from the BBC.

Fuck knows how many BBC TV and Radio channels people in these parts pay for, but can’t receive, unless they get Sky installed. The much vaunted BT Vision can’t be guaranteed because of … you’ve guessed it, BT’s piss-poor broadband service.

I’m on Sky’s side for this one

Postal Quality (sic) Testing Rigged

So, the postal watchdog is considering taking action against Royal Mail after finding their so-called quality tests had been rigged.

Postcomm, got a tip-off, and found that, in some areas, the addresses involved in testing deliveries had been passed on to staff. Staff had also learned to recognise test mail by looking for the microchip used to identify test mail which could be felt through the covering. This allowed them to search for the relevant items and they were able to prioritise them to ensure they arrived on time.

It gets worse

In a statement, a Royal Mail apologist said:

"Following investigations by Royal Mail and Postcomm into allegations concerning quality of service measurement, primarily in local mail operations in the Motherwell area - announced last year - both Royal Mail and Postcomm found that there has been no material impact whatsoever on Royal Mail's Quality of Service figures."

So there you have it.

Even when they cheat it makes no difference to the service. So what’s the point of the quality testing?

The Operation Was a Success. But…

A senior Strathclyde Fire and Rescue officer, has told a Fatal Accident Inquiry into the death of a woman, Alison Hume, who fell down a mine shaft in Ayrshire, that the rescue operation was a "success".

Fatal accident? Rescue? Success?

Confused?

Well, according to the senior Strathclyde Fire and Rescue officer it was a success because even though Miss Hume (who was eventually freed by mountain rescue experts) and the fire-fighter who was with her, had both been removed without any injury to any other person. Miss Hume suffered a heart attack as she was being brought to the surface.

The inquiry, at Kilmarnock Sheriff Court, heard that fire-fighters were unable to rescue her as regulations stated the equipment available was for saving themselves, not members of the public.

The hearing was told that a fire-fighter had already been sent down the mine shaft to assist Ms Hume but, that when the senior Strathclyde Fire and Rescue officer arrived at the scene and took charge of the rescue operation he told a paramedic who was about to go down the shaft to stop and wait for the mountain rescue team.

The senior Strathclyde Fire and Rescue officer said if he had been in control at the outset he would not have allowed that officer to go down the hole as "It was not in our organisation's remit to conduct a rescue of that nature."

I'm reasonably sure though, that what transpired here is not what the public expect of ‘rescue services’.

However, we should welcome the revelations that despite assurances from his team that they had the experience, training and skills to affect a rescue, the senior officer at the scene admitted that he considered risk assessments more important than rescuing Miss Hume. It is a further reminder, if one is needed, of the risk avoidance culture that is stifling this country.

‘Rescue’, by it’s very nature, involves risk. And this should not be assessed by anyone other than those who are willing to take it. Especially not by middle-management bureaucrats who live in fear of litigation and justify their job by issuing the type of memos that led to this disgraceful episode. One can only hope that some of these back-minding twats find themselves in a similar situation.

On the other hand, the fire-fighters and paramedics could have just told the arseholes at head office to go and fuck themselves and rescued Ms Hume anyway.