Down's Criticised for Boyle’s Syndrome Jokes

Tanzie Downs, the well known comedienne, has been criticised for making jokes about Boyle’s Syndrome sufferers.

Paddy and Padina Potatohead, from Uglywains in Glasgow, were sitting in the cheap seats the star's sold-out gig in Mingerton’s Rectangle theatre. Mrs Potatohead said that she had been enjoying the show up until Downs started making the jokes.

The former ‘Mock the Disabled’ panellist eventually refused to comment.

Mrs Potatohead, whose son Frankie suffers from Boyle’s Syndrome, said she told the comic she was upset. But Downs told her she should have known what to expect at her show and if she thought that the routine about people with Boyle’s syndrome was going to be clever and intellectually challenging, that was her fault.

She said: "Downs made fun of their parents being old and out of touch. Downs also made fun of the way people with Boyle’s Syndrome speak, their ginger hair, thick glasses, their inability to finish their education and their outright ugliness.”

"She also made a number of references to people with Boyle’s Syndrome dying on stage."

Some of Downs’ big fat bald comedian friends supported her saying, “We’re feckin’ comedians and we can say what the feck we like. Now feck off, I’m away on another boat-trip courtesy of the feckin’ TV licence payers.” 

12-Year-Old Handcuffed

While the cops ‘pepper spray’ kids in Indiana nursery schools, New York’s finest aren’t prepared to be outdone. (See Stunning Police Response)

Last week Alexa Gonzalez, a 12-year-old at Junior High School 190 in Queens, was led out of her school in handcuffs by police after she was caught for writing on her desk with an erasable, green marker.

She was suspended from school and tried in a family court, where she was given eight hours of community service and ordered to write an essay about lessons to be learned from the incident.

What she will have learned is that the police and education departments in New York City are obviously run by some of the most petty-minded, reactionary toss-pots on the planet.

She will also learn about the US litigation system, as her mother is suing both for $1m in damages.

Election Bullshit

Rumour has it that the first line of Labour's manifesto will be a tribute to British soldiers serving in Afghanistan. No doubt this increasingly desperate and unprincipled shower will be hoping that the helicopter carrying the ballot papers will break down.  

Meanwhile,

Sarah Brown sucked up to Hindus in Neasden by telling them that their temple is the "eighth wonder of the world". Where this places the largest Hindu temple in the world, the 100 acre BAPS Swaminarayam Akshardham temple complex in New Delhi, I don’t know. Still it’s nice to know that this sort of patronising shite encompasses all faiths.

Meanwhile,

Labour's election co-ordinator, Ed Miliband, has pledged that Labour will "rebuild trust in politics".

Two points here:

1. You’ve had 13 years clean up politics after John Major’s sleaze ridden mob got booted out. It’s now worse.
2. I don’t now where you get the idea from the we ever trusted politicians.  

Miliband has also told us that his party's manifesto has been crafted after "tens of thousands of conversations" with the people of Britain. That must be like these opinion polls. I’ve never been asked. I don’t anyone who has.

Meanwhile,

Ex-Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy refuses to concede that criticism of the Tories by his party's top rank amounts to "cosying up" to Labour in preparation for a post-election pact, as suggested by Sky's Adam Boulton. Well, allow me point out to the people in the rest of Britain, the Lib-Dems (the whores of Scottish politics) kept an unbelievably inept Labour minority government in power in Scotland for eight years. And they couldn't get to the coalition table quick enough.

Meanwhile,

Lib Dem Treasury spokesman Vince Cable says that Nick Clegg's comment that a vote for Labour or the Conservatives would be a vote for "corrupt politics" referred to the rival parties blocking Lib Dem attempts to reform Parliament. Tell it the way it is Vince. Many people will be voting for a corrupt politician at the election. It’s just that, when you all close ranks, we might never be able to prove it.

Meanwhile,

Ruby Wax has given us the benefit of her undoubted political insight by pointing out that the money the leaders are spending on coaching for the TV debates is a waste. The public can "smell a phoney" a mile away, said the woman whose purpose remains a mystery.

Thankfully, they also have this ability when it comes to people that think they’re funny.

And Finally.

At the risk of introducing your senses to a quite unsavoury image, Amanda Platell former press secretary to William Hague,  predicts an X-rating for the TV debates. She says that Gordon Brown will be stripped of his best asset - his wife - and look "naked" as a result.

Nurse! The screens!

Don’t have nightmares now.

F Ofcom

Ofcom have told Sky to drop the prices that the charge the likes of Virgin and BT for their sports and film channels. All in the name of competition. Sky of course, will appeal this nonsense.

Ofcom though, are quite unfathomable at times.

This is the lot that said it was OK for BT to charge rivals whatever it wants for access to its forthcoming £1.5bn fibre network.

In that case Ofcom claimed they were acting in the interests of consumers, (and not as a result of unprecedented lobbying from BT and a threat to revoke it unless pricing controls were dropped). Furthermore, they maintained this would not lead to a monopoly in the ’super-fast broadband’ sector. Nor would kill off BT’s competition, Virgin in particular, stone dead.

They have, on the other hand, never thought to have the license fee reduced for those who still don’t get a full service from the BBC.

Fuck knows how many BBC TV and Radio channels people in these parts pay for, but can’t receive, unless they get Sky installed. The much vaunted BT Vision can’t be guaranteed because of … you’ve guessed it, BT’s piss-poor broadband service.

I’m on Sky’s side for this one

Stunning Police Response

They sure know how to handle annoying kids in Indiana. Here, two police officers have been suspended for using a stun gun on a 10-year-old boy who had gotten out of control at a day care facility.

The incident occurred Tuesday, when a worker at Tender Teddies Day Care in Martinsville, called police to report that one of the children there was acting up and posed a potential threat to the other kids.

A spokesperson for the Martinsville Police Department said that Capt. William Jennings and Officer Darren Johnson arrived at the scene and found the boy to be "combative." Jennings gave him a slap, and Johnson used his Taser to further subdue.

Martinsville Police Chief Jon Davis said "We need to look at it a lot closer because the Taser gun is not really made for 10-year-olds." (An obvious niche in the market for the ‘Junior Taser’.)

This is an outrageous way to treat children. At least in Texas 10 year olds get to sit in a chair before being zapped. 

Shoot the Bores

Relief has swept through the little known country of Engurland. Wain Rooney will be OK for the World Cup. The soccer minnows had feared that their star pie-eater would miss out as their brave lads’ head of to do battle with Johnnie Foreigner in South Africa.

And there’s no one happier than me. Because, what a lot of pish we’ve had to put up with since Tuesday night.

He sprained his ankle for fuck’s sake! It not as though he stood on a landmine!

I remember spraining an ankle many years back. It was a Saturday-morning game. I hobbled off to the local abattoir where the put a bandage on it and told me, that as the X-ray guy didn’t work weekends, to come back on Monday and they’d see if it was broken. The upside was two weeks of work just as the World Cup was starting (more than enough time to see all of Scotland’s games).

With an army of medical experts to pamper him, I’m sure Roooooonaaaaaay will survive a couple of weeks on the panel. 

When Justice Really is Blind

I defy any member of the public to try this one as a defence.

Metropolitan Police officer, Sgt Delroy Smellie who struck a woman, with a metal baton at a vigil to mark the death of newspaper vendor, Ian Tomlinson, who died at the G20 demonstration a few days before, has been cleared of common assault.

After watching the same video footage as the rest of us District Judge Daphne Wickham cleared him of the attack on Nicola Fisher. I, and I suspect a great many people, might beg to differ.

The judge said Sgt Smellie had “a mere seven seconds" to act when Ms Fisher ran in front of him hurling abuse.

I don’t know what “mere seven seconds” of the video footage the judge selected in her defence of  Smellie, nor do I know why she thinks that it should take a Policeman longer than that to differentiate between a juice carton and a weapon.

She pointed out that Sgt Smellie had deliberately bent his knees to hit Ms Fisher on her legs, causing a "transient flesh wound".

Ms Fisher actually suffered from two “transient” flesh wounds.

In his defence it was stated that Smellie mistook a juice carton in Ms Fisher's hand for a weapon, and maintained his actions were proportionate.

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He pushes her and - turns his back on her.

But maybe he hadn’t seen the weapon at this time?

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He slaps her with the back of his hand then - turns his back on her.

But maybe he hadn’t seen the weapon at this time?

OK. So here we have a Police officer who thinks someone is holding a weapon. So what does he do? He approaches her, bends his knees, and hits her on the legs with his baton and turns away. Leaving her on the ground.

These actions, we are led to believe are proportionate when faced by a ‘weapon’ toting member of the public. Especially one who was, according to a defence witness, behaving like a "lunatic" and "out of control". One would have hoped that he might have done a bit more. Maybe something along the lines of shouting ”Drop the weapon.” But no.

In fact he is not even looking in her direction when he starts to draw the baton. And at no point in the video footage does he seem in anyway concerned with what she has in her hand.

So when did he think it was a weapon?

When he pushed her?

When he slapped her?

When he hit her with the baton?

Or when he realised he was on YouTube?

Sgt Smellie however, has been found ‘not guilty’. We have to accept the ruling.

But, that doesn't mean that we have to accept that the point at which an officer can use such force is when he is really pissed-off by a bampot of a woman screaming in his face. 
This though, could be put to the test at the next demonstration. If everyone carries cartons of orange juice to wave at the police we could determine how many officers eventually confuse them with carton shaped weapons. That way the ones that can’t tell the difference can have their arses booted off the force. Cos I’m fucked if I want to employ anyone who can’t tell the difference to protect me.

But, let’s not forget Ms Fisher. Sold her story to the papers but, couldn't be arsed to turn up at court. Worried that the defence may focus on her lifestyle. Thereby making the job of the Judge, the Defence and the Met so much easier.

As for the prosecution? They are confirmed as the best defence lawyers tax-payers’ money can buy - for a policeman.