Friday, 2 April 2010

Shoot the Bores

Relief has swept through the little known country of Engurland. Wain Rooney will be OK for the World Cup. The soccer minnows had feared that their star pie-eater would miss out as their brave lads’ head of to do battle with Johnnie Foreigner in South Africa.
And there’s no one happier than me. Because, what a lot of pish we’ve had to put up with since Tuesday night.
He sprained his ankle for fuck’s sake! It not as though he stood on a landmine!

I remember spraining an ankle many years back. It was a Saturday-morning game. I hobbled off to the local abattoir where the put a bandage on it and told me, that as the X-ray guy didn’t work weekends, to come back on Monday and they’d see if it was broken. The upside was two weeks of work just as the World Cup was starting (more than enough time to see all of Scotland’s games).
With an army of medical experts to pamper him, I’m sure Roooooonaaaaaay will survive a couple of weeks on the panel.